What I Learned From my Practical Theology Course: PART 2

OK, I am back. Now I want to talk about what I learned, about what the bible has to say to parents.

The things going on in society now, that are bringing down the roles of parents and children, are the issues of child led parenting and the idea that discipline will hurt the child’s psyche. The new thing these days is not saying “no” and no spanking or flicking. We are told to allow our children more freedoms and let them just have fun and be kids, even at the expense of others, including ourselves. We should take our babies in bed with us and let them stay there until they are ready to leave the family bed. Mom’s are feeling good about putting their babies first and everyone else, including husband, second, but then wondering why their children grow up to be spoiled rotten, expecting everything to be about them. People are being misled, and it’s because they aren’t looking in the bible for help, but reading books and magazines that are of the world. Some are being misled by church officials who believe they know better than the bible or that the bible isn’t necessarily God’s word anymore but just one of many resources to refer to for advice, as long as it’s convenient and works in today’s society.

I have learned in my class that EVERYTHING that we need is in the Bible. Every question can be answered in the Bible. It IS the word of God, and one of the biggest proofs is in the pudding! It’s all there. What other book has all the answers? There isn’t one. God’s word is sufficient. I love this verse, Hebrews 4:12, “For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”

So much can be pulled from this verse. The word of God is living and active. To this day, God can still speak to us through the bible. When we have a question about parenting or our childhood, the answer can be found in the bible. Because God speaks through His word, you may find a verse to mean one thing one day, and then notice something further or different (not counteractive, just fitting for a different need) the next day. That is because it is alive and active. God speaks through His word. Prayer and reading are how we have conversation with God. We talk to Him through prayer, He talks to us through scripture.

“Sharper than any double-edged sword”, is so true! When you read the word, and really pay attention and allow it to soak in, you are convicted in so many ways. He shows you all the ways you are not perfect and need to improve. He calls you to a higher standard than society gives you. It’s not an easy standard to follow. In fact it is impossible. But He wants us to strive anyway. It is amazing how good it feels to abandon the relaxed views of the world, and strive for something better. I don’t mean that we should strive to be better than everyone else, but strive to glorify God, not ourselves. It’s hard to do, but soooooo rewarding! When I strive to glorify God, I can sleep at night, with a smile on my face that I did the best I could, and I did it for the right reasons. The rest is up to God.

“it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” This part is huge in parenting. We need to be working on the heart of our children, and our own heart. It’s not our actions that are being judged but the heart behind it. When a three year old breaks your favorite vase, is it sin? Probably not. My guess is he just wanted to see what it would do when it hit the ground. We need to question the motives, the heart, when we are disciplining. When I flick my child’s hand to make him remember not to play with the outlets, I have good intentions to teach him, in love, protecting him. I would of course do this only after instructing him not to do it in the first place. The flick is for disobedience, not touching the outlet. But if I spank my child because he broke my favorite vase and I am upset, that’s selfish, and wrong. That is abusive. It is our heart that God looks at. It is also our heart that our child sees. They know if you are angry or not, and they are affected greatly by that.

Unfortunately people who follow society and have kids that don’t understand “no”, and live life thinking that everything is for them, end up with difficult children, who cause them anger and strife. (Proverbs 10:1;17:25) This builds up and causes potentially abusive situations, where the parent has had enough. If discipline is abandoned in society, abuse will soon take over. Parents everywhere will become frustrated and "lose it" from time to time. Every parent "loses it", but I am talking about to the point of great physical abuse. Order will turn to chaos. The bible warns against this everywhere. (Proverbs 13:24;19:18;23:13;29:17; Hebrews 12:7)

In this class I learned that in all situations that parents bring to me for advice, there are answers to help, in the bible. However, those answers are only accepted by those who truly want to serve God. That is the key to good parenting. Wanting to serve God.

Children came from the Lord. They were a gift from the Lord. We need to treat them as such. (Genesis 33:5; 1 Samuel 1:27; Psalms 127:3) We need to follow God's rules, as these are His children, given to us. Entrusted to us. That is an honor. So how will you thank God?

What I Learned From my Practical Theology Course, in a Nut Shell

Well, my Practical Theology course has now come to an end. It was a great learning experience for me and it gave me a whole new insight on what it means to be a Christian. I have been challenged to live my life more for God and less for me. I have learned how much freedom there is in giving God the glory for everything. I have learned how to rest in times of trouble, not that I have mastered it. I have learned that I am far more useful than I once thought. I have gained a self confidence, realizing that God has equipped me with everything I need to do His work. I learned what my spiritual gifts are, and am ready to put them to use. I realize what my passions and dreams are and I know that they are important because they are for Him. I am now pumped up to start serving more effectively and truly feel like a valuable part of the church body.
I would like to share some of the key things I learned in each of the topics of my class. Those topics are:
Family Relationships
Biblical Counseling
Evangelism
Spiritual Growth
Spiritual Gifts

So, first I will start with Family Relationships.
In this topic, I learned the roles that God has called different members of the family to fulfill and I learned that a family who fulfills these roles is able to work in harmony for the glory of God. Unfortunately in this day and age so many men and women are so confused and messed up by movements such as Womens Lib. Society has turned the biblical woman who should be looked up to and praised (Prov 31:31), into a shameful, powerless person. I saddens me to see so many women, including many Christians, either feeling small because they follow the bible, or suppressing what they know about the bible and what it says about womens roles in the famliy, because they are afraid of what society would think if they followed it. I know a few women myself, who feel they have to have jobs, degrees and the upper hand in the marriage because that's what gives them self worth. What they don't realize is that it's all lies. They have been tricked by the devil into thinking this way, and it truly saddens my heart. They have a powerful front but inside they are screaming to get out. They wonder why their is so much quarrel in their marriages (Gen 3:16), and they wonder why they are so stressed and never at rest. The ironic thing is that most Christian women who are striving to be that biblical, submissive role, are somehow intimidated by the power driven "successful" female and therefore are afraid to reach out to them. They fail to realize that they are the strong ones and they have much to offer those who have been deceived. I know, because I am one who has been intimidated by such. But as a result of this class, I have come to know my worth, and realize that it is a sin for me not to actively try and reach those I know and help them to learn the biblical truths and how it could free them. It's selfish of me to keep it to myself, only to watch their marriages fall apart and their relationships with God dwindle away. Many of us either know someone who needs help in this area or actually are someone in this area of need.
Here is what the bible says about a woman of God's own heart:

In Praise of a Good Wife Proverbs 31:10-31

(Blue words are mine)
10A truly good wife is the most precious treasure a man can find!
(That means she's valuable, not weak!)

11Her husband depends on her, and she never lets him down. (Husbands need women to be biblical. That speaks volumes about the biblically driven woman's worth over the power driven woman)

12She is good to him every day of her life, 13and with her own hands she gladly makes clothes.

14She is like a sailing ship that brings food from across the sea.

15She gets up before daylight to prepare food for her family and for her servants. (Now before you kick up your feet and write this whole thing off with, "She has servants, that's why she could do all this" (I have heard this excuse many a time), remember that we do have servants. Do you have a dishwasher? A washing machine and dryer? A vacuum? A microwave? Warm running water? I could go on....I betting women those days didn't!)

16She knows how to buy land and how to plant a vineyard, 17and she always works hard.

18She knows when to buy or sell, and she stays busy until late at night. (Here's another one that society has pulled us away from. Some women who do stay at home forget that their job is not to spend away all the money, shopping, shopping, shopping. We are to be wise with our money and make it go far. That doesn't sound like a useless, weak housewife that society has dubbed the homemaker, now does it?)

19She spins her own cloth, 20and she helps the poor and the needy.

21Her family has warm clothing, and so she doesn't worry when it snows.

22She does her own sewing, and everything she wears is beautiful.

23Her husband is a well-known and respected leader in the city.

24She makes clothes to sell to the shop owners.

25She is strong and graceful, as well as cheerful about the future.

26Her words are sensible, and her advice is thoughtful.

27She takes good care of her family and is never lazy.

28Her children praise her, and with great pride her husband says,

29"There are many good women, but you are the best!" (Now here's is the part I love. Husbands aren't going to take advantage of this woman. She's valuable, smart, VERY useful, and of high worth. He would have to be a idiot to overlook that! He's going to value her, and praise her, because he will have the best wife in town. I strive for this, I don't meet it yet, and probably never will, but I will continue to strive. My husband recognizes this and values me and because of this I have a secure relationship with him. Not because of what he gives me, but what I give him. If I continue to give, my relationship will continue to flourish, giving me further peace and happiness knowing that I am doing the best I can and I am doing it for God.)

30Charm can be deceiving, and beauty fades away, but a woman who honors the LORD

deserves to be praised.

31Show her respect-- praise her in public for what she has done. (The biblical woman is worthy of respect and should never be ashamed. If she is ashamed than she is ashamed of God.)
John 1:1-3

Also keep in mind, this set of verses was quoting King Lemuel's mother. This was a woman, telling her son what to look for in a wife.

1 Peter 3:1-3 says:
[ Godly Living ] In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,
This means that we should be obedient to God's instructions regardless of what our husband's doing. If we are, they will come around. Easier said than done, I am sure, but none the less, there it is.

1 Peter 3:4-6 says:
4but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.

5For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands;

6just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.

God finds a woman with a gentle and quiet spirit, precious. He is saying here that we should be holy by adorning ourselves with a meek manner, being submissive to our husbands. He uses the example of Sarah, who actually called her husband lord. He also tells us do be these things without fear. So we should not be intimidated by the power woman, but rather, feel our worth in that person's life.

Now lets talk about the husbands, shall we.

Luke 14:26 says:

26You cannot be my disciple, unless you love me more than you love your father and mother, your wife and children, and your brothers and sisters. You cannot come with me unless you love me more than you love your own life.
God first.

1 Peter 3:17 says:
7Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Ephesians 5:25-33
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing^[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."^[b] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Colossians 3:19
19Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Malachi 2:14,15
5 Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.

A godly husband should be loving, understanding, and respectful to his wife. He should be a gentlemen. He should be a spiritual leader. It's his job to guide and direct the family, including the wife into holiness and submission to the Lord. He should be gentle and patient with his wife, and he should praise her when she does godly things, building her up and encouraging her. He should remember that he and she are equally important in God's eyes and are both sinners in need of a savior. They are fellow Christians and need to work together for God's glory. Just as women need to learn to be confident in their roles, men need to remember to be humble in theirs.

I will continue with these topics over the next month.
Next, I will cover parents' and children's roles.
Until then...